Nostalgia

*Just an FYI, I have Halloween pics to share as well as news on Luke's Tree 2010. I will share those tomorrow or Friday...this is a post that I felt compelled to write at this moment.*

Nostalgia is a funny thing...when you are feeling nostalgic, many emotions can come about. You can feel happy, sad, angry, or scared. You can feel anxious, relieved, or just plain exhausted. While feeling nostalgic this evening, I felt all of those emotions within a ten minute period.

You see, some absolutely amazing things have been happening with Luke's Tree this year: we have 16 families, donations have already begun to pour in, entire families are adopted before we even have the wishes. When I say that I am humbled by the generosity of others, it is an understatement. I spoke about Luke's Tree at my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting today. I promised them I wouldn't cry, which turned out to be a lie. The hugs and support that I received from my friends was unbelievable and I was so touched by their kindness.

With all of the joy that today brought, I figured that I would look into the "box". You angel moms know what I mean when I talk about the "box". Actually, if you are like me, you probably have more than one "box", but this is the one that holds some pretty special things. Included in tonight's "box" were items that people had given me after Luke was born, such as the rosary from Mo that she brought back from Venice, the special rosary given to Luke by my brother, books from friends, etc. I was ok while looking through these items, thinking of the care and concern given to us during Luke's life and shortly after his death. It wasn't until, after shuffling through some papers, I found a very special item: the keepsake certificate that the hospital gave us right after Luke was born and before his diagnosis. This certificate has his little footprints stamped on it. If you have been reading this blog for a while, then you know that we do not have imprints of Luke's hands and feet nor do we have a lock of his hair. This is one of the things that continues to tear at my heart--we have nothing concrete from our baby boy. Well, as I touched his footprints, I looked at my finger and saw the ink on it. I know that it sounds dumb and crazy, but I lost it at that moment. I was actually touching something concrete. The ink that was used to make prints of my baby boy's tiny toes was still wet! After two and a half years, it is still wet. So nostalgia caused me to seek out the "box", but it was the wet footprint that caused me to remember what a miracle he truly was.

I really should get to bed now as it is 1:30 am. I just felt the need to share this story with you because it really affected me. Please be sure to check out our new website for Luke's Tree at www.lukestree.org. We are praying for another amazing year and would appreciate any prayers. If you would like to donate, you can e-mail me at bernie@lukestree.org. There are a lot of heart babies who are coming into the world lately, please help us as we pray for them. God bless you all!