Addie with the flowers that she brought
Addie placing the sweet ceramic angel they purchased for Luke. Amy said that Addie insisted on putting the angel on the stone--I think that is so cute!
Luke's siteIf you have read our journals since the beginning, you know that I worked in an amazing place before Luke was born. St. Anthony of Padua Little Saints Early Childhood Program is like a little family and I am so blessed to have been a part of it. The last few years have been tough on the staff at Little Saints. In October 2006, Hans was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Hans is the son of one of my teacher friends, Lara. Hans is such a fighter and is doing really well! Read his story at http://www.hansjourney.blogspot.com/. A week before we lost Luke, another teacher friend, Leah, lost her twin boys Mason and Matthew at 21 weeks gestation. Then, we lost our Luke. After the loss of Luke, Mason, and Matthew, the staff and parents at Little Saints had an idea to create a prayer garden in memory of these angels. The children at Little Saints (including Emily and Matthew) decorated tiles to later be placed in benches for the memorial. Well, the garden was completed a few weeks ago and Father Tom (St. Anthony Pastor) blessed it on Thursday. Needless to say, Tommy and I were devastated that we couldn't be there. But Gramma, Grampa, and Nana, as well as many friends, were there to dedicate the garden to the three amazing angels.
Since we couldn't be there, I sent a note from us. The staff passed the note out to all who attended. I wanted to share the note with all of you:
First of all, Tommy and I would like to thank all of you for coming today. We are extremely saddened that we cannot be with you all at this moment. As you all know, our Luke was an amazing baby with a strong soul. Luke was born fighting for his life and many of us will never have to fight as hard in our 100 years as that little angel fought in just 5 ½ weeks. Luke lived for nine months in my belly, and only 37 days on earth outside of my womb, but he lives forever in the paradise that God has created for us in heaven.
We are so thankful for the many prayers that you all have said for our family over the course of the past year. We all prayed so hard for a miracle: that Luke would be healed. When Luke passed away, we realized that he did get the miracle we prayed for: Luke was welcomed into heaven as one of God’s little saints. How ironic is it that I worked at Little Saints and now I have my own little saint who gets to sit on Jesus’ lap? I can call on Luke and ask him to intercede whenever I want. I think that is a pretty big miracle. It is also a miracle that Luke will not have to have his chest opened again nor go on heart-lung bypass once more. It is a miracle that Tommy and I will never have to mourn the loss of another child so that our child may have a new heart. The biggest miracle that we witnessed because of the loss of Luke was the birth of our Sweet Baby James. Without Luke, this little miracle wouldn’t be with us. I know that Luke was watching out for his baby brother throughout the pregnancy and during his hospital stays. I know that Luke continues to watch after James as well as me, Tommy, Emily, and Matthew. My mom tells us that Luke is always on our shoulder and I think that is a pretty neat thing!
This time last year, I spent a lot of time asking God “why?” Why Luke? Why our family? I remember shouting to God at the top of my lungs the day that the movers came to get our furniture. I yelled, I screamed, I wept. As I sat in my house, all alone, I begged God to tell me why. I remember vividly saying “not my baby, I need him”. I still need him. We need him. But I need to remind myself that I do have Luke with me all the time. We all have Luke with us.
While I still ask why at times, now I find myself asking “why not?” Why not Luke? Why not our family? Luke was able to live an entire lifetime in just 5 ½ weeks. Did he ever get to visit Disney World? No. Did he get to attend school? No. Did he get married and have children? No. BUT, that little boy felt so much love and gave so much love, which is what we should all hope for in our lives. On the night we lost Luke, we knew he was not going to make it early on. The doctors, nurses, and staff at St. Luke’s ER tried so hard to save him, but we knew it was all for not. Tommy and I sat outside of the ER praying. Praying for our baby boy, praying for our family. We told God that it was OK for Him to take our baby. We would rather him live in heaven, whole and healthy, than live here with an uncertain future. I think that this was the most difficult thing we will every have to do in our entire lives.
In our absence, my parents (Gramma and Grampa) and Tommy’s mom (Nana) have come to celebrate Luke’s life. They have been our saving grace this year, to say the least. We feel so blessed that God gave us such caring and loving parents. We just hope that we can bring as much joy to our children’s lives as they have brought to ours. I want to thank them for everything. Thank you to Gramma for being Mommy when I couldn’t be, for being our personal maid and cook, for your prayers, and for being my mother when I needed you the most. Thank you to Grampa for being our extra ear during countless doctor’s appointments and consults, for being our chauffeur, for taking care of business, and for being Luke’s best buddy (he loved you so very much). Thank you to Nana for being Tommy’s shoulder to lean on, for being Emily and Matthew’s favorite playmate, and for your constant positive outlook. You are all incredible and we feel so blessed!
We would like to thank Katie, Denise, and the Little Saints staff for their love and support during the past year. What an amazing group of people! We would also like to thank the St. Anthony Church staff as well as the day school staff for their encouragement—this is quite an incredible faith family. Thank you, also, to the many parents at Little Saints and the day school whose children I have taught—you all have become my friends and I am so thankful for that! I have heard so many wonderful things about the prayer garden and we are humbled that our angel can share this honor with Matthew and Mason Bass. God bless you all and God bless the angels who watch over us!
God bless,
Bernie Haberman
(and Tommy, Emily, Matthew, James, and Angel Luke)
We are so thankful for the many prayers that you all have said for our family over the course of the past year. We all prayed so hard for a miracle: that Luke would be healed. When Luke passed away, we realized that he did get the miracle we prayed for: Luke was welcomed into heaven as one of God’s little saints. How ironic is it that I worked at Little Saints and now I have my own little saint who gets to sit on Jesus’ lap? I can call on Luke and ask him to intercede whenever I want. I think that is a pretty big miracle. It is also a miracle that Luke will not have to have his chest opened again nor go on heart-lung bypass once more. It is a miracle that Tommy and I will never have to mourn the loss of another child so that our child may have a new heart. The biggest miracle that we witnessed because of the loss of Luke was the birth of our Sweet Baby James. Without Luke, this little miracle wouldn’t be with us. I know that Luke was watching out for his baby brother throughout the pregnancy and during his hospital stays. I know that Luke continues to watch after James as well as me, Tommy, Emily, and Matthew. My mom tells us that Luke is always on our shoulder and I think that is a pretty neat thing!
This time last year, I spent a lot of time asking God “why?” Why Luke? Why our family? I remember shouting to God at the top of my lungs the day that the movers came to get our furniture. I yelled, I screamed, I wept. As I sat in my house, all alone, I begged God to tell me why. I remember vividly saying “not my baby, I need him”. I still need him. We need him. But I need to remind myself that I do have Luke with me all the time. We all have Luke with us.
While I still ask why at times, now I find myself asking “why not?” Why not Luke? Why not our family? Luke was able to live an entire lifetime in just 5 ½ weeks. Did he ever get to visit Disney World? No. Did he get to attend school? No. Did he get married and have children? No. BUT, that little boy felt so much love and gave so much love, which is what we should all hope for in our lives. On the night we lost Luke, we knew he was not going to make it early on. The doctors, nurses, and staff at St. Luke’s ER tried so hard to save him, but we knew it was all for not. Tommy and I sat outside of the ER praying. Praying for our baby boy, praying for our family. We told God that it was OK for Him to take our baby. We would rather him live in heaven, whole and healthy, than live here with an uncertain future. I think that this was the most difficult thing we will every have to do in our entire lives.
In our absence, my parents (Gramma and Grampa) and Tommy’s mom (Nana) have come to celebrate Luke’s life. They have been our saving grace this year, to say the least. We feel so blessed that God gave us such caring and loving parents. We just hope that we can bring as much joy to our children’s lives as they have brought to ours. I want to thank them for everything. Thank you to Gramma for being Mommy when I couldn’t be, for being our personal maid and cook, for your prayers, and for being my mother when I needed you the most. Thank you to Grampa for being our extra ear during countless doctor’s appointments and consults, for being our chauffeur, for taking care of business, and for being Luke’s best buddy (he loved you so very much). Thank you to Nana for being Tommy’s shoulder to lean on, for being Emily and Matthew’s favorite playmate, and for your constant positive outlook. You are all incredible and we feel so blessed!
We would like to thank Katie, Denise, and the Little Saints staff for their love and support during the past year. What an amazing group of people! We would also like to thank the St. Anthony Church staff as well as the day school staff for their encouragement—this is quite an incredible faith family. Thank you, also, to the many parents at Little Saints and the day school whose children I have taught—you all have become my friends and I am so thankful for that! I have heard so many wonderful things about the prayer garden and we are humbled that our angel can share this honor with Matthew and Mason Bass. God bless you all and God bless the angels who watch over us!
God bless,
Bernie Haberman
(and Tommy, Emily, Matthew, James, and Angel Luke)
Tommy and I would like to thank Miss Allison and Miss Suzanne for helping to create this beautiful garden. Thank you to Katie, Denise, and Suzanne O'Neil for helping to coordinate the blessing. We appreciate Father Tom taking the time to bless this very special place. Here are a few pictures that friends and families sent:
The garden
Luke's cross and plaque
Angel with Little Saints plaque
Close-up
Luke's plaque close-up
Father Tom giving the blessing 
The crowd 
Matthew's tile (I'm not sure Grampa could find Emily's tile)
First bench
Second bench
Benches togetherIsn't the garden beautiful? We are so thankful for this wonderful tribute to our boy! We hope that all of you are well. Our family is doing well and James is growing like crazy! May God bless you all!
PS Please pray for another St. Anthony family who is going through a difficult time. Matt Best is husband to Katie and father to Kelly and Andrew. Matt was diagnosed with cancer in March and the doctors have told him it is terminal. Right now, they are making him comfortable. I met Katie in the moms group at St. Anthony. They are a beautiful and faithful family and could really use a lot of prayers right now. You can visit their site and leave a note at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/mattbest. Once again, God bless you all!
