Fear. It’s what I wrote about this time last year. And I think it is safe to assume that it is something that each one of us has felt over the past year. It hasn’t been an easy year for any of us. It has been difficult for everyone.
I will never forget March 12th, 2020. It was the day that our world shut down. It was the day we got the call that schools would be closed for a few days. It was the day we first heard the term “14 days to slow the spread”. And it was the day that we knew our world would be changed forever.
But it was also Luke’s 12th birthday. March 12th is always a sacred day to our family. And last year, it was marred by this deadly virus. A virus that has taken so many lives. Our yearly tradition of Dave and Buster’s and Chuy’s was nixed due to covid fears. We created new memories…enjoyed pizza at a local restaurant and watched a movie together at home. But it wasn’t the same. And it will never be the same.
Yes, the world changed for all of us last year. But on March 12th, 2008, the world changed for our family. That day, our precious Luke Thomas was born.
Thirteen years old. It’s yet another milestone that we won’t get to observe with Luke. Another “big” birthday without our son. We never had a birthday party for Luke. We never watched as he devoured a smash cake. We never had the chance to sing “Happy Birthday”. We never got to see him open presents.
There are so many things we have missed over the past 13 years. We’ve missed baby belly laughs and toddler tantrums. We’ve missed first days of school and countless bedtime stories. We’ve missed childhood fears as well as childhood triumphs.
Much like this past year was stolen from all of us, memories with our son were stolen from us.
Memories that we were never given the opportunity to create. Memories that were gone the night we lost
him. I weep for these missing memories. And simultaneously, I am so thankful for the
chance to make memories in his honor with his sister and brothers.
Yes, this year has been hard. We lost Tommy’s mother in late January. She was a strong Italian woman. Small in stature, but huge in spirit. She raised four boys and was a devoted wife, mother, Nana, and Great Nana. She was a talented cook and enjoyed entertaining her friends and family. The loss of Nana is a difficult pill to swallow, but knowing that she was welcomed to paradise by her husband, son Bob, and Luke makes my heart happy. Before she passed, she and Tommy had a conversation. During the conversation, they recalled the many joyful things in their lives. They recalled the memories they had created as a family. Those memories are priceless for Tommy and I am eternally grateful that he was able to thank his mother for providing them.
My hope is that we use this year to create memories with your family. Make the memories that we were unable to create with Luke. Memories that will make you smile, laugh, or even cry. Just make the memories.
Because after this past year, we all deserve to make some amazing memories.
And as a bonus, here is one of the few memories Tommy and I
made with Luke (post-op). Oh that sweet
cry. It was perfection. {and please ignore the woman’s voice in the
background-- 😉}
