Some beautiful photos to share...

Hi everyone! I hope this post finds you all doing well. Thank you for all of the well wishes for the new baby. Like I mentioned before, we are praying for a healthy baby. Please pray for this new Haberman. We actually have an ultrasound tomorrow, so if you could fit in a little prayer that everything looks good so far, that would be GREAT! Of course, we won't know much about his or her heart until about 20 weeks. We will definitely keep you posted on our new little gift--we are so very excited about our little miracle!!!!

We have a few special pictures to share with you all. The first we wanted to share are pictures of Luke's marker. My parents went to visit Luke after they returned home from their visit to Collierville. I was so happy to hear that his marker was there. Finally, people will know that an angel, a little saint, was laid to rest there. I explained in another post that Tommy and I sort of "designed" Luke's marker with the help of Sam at the funeral home. There wasn't anything that quite "fit" our little prince, so we came up with our own design. It is simple, yet beautiful. As I mentioned in the earlier post, Luke's "symbol" has become a heart (for Luke) with a cross in the middle (for Jesus). James Avery makes a charm with this symbol and it is perfectly perfect for our sweet angel (look at http://www.jamesavery.com/ and search for "crosslet heart"). Here are a few pictures of Luke's marker:

My mom and dad went to visit Luke right after the tropical storm, so his marker was a little dirty. It looks wet because they cleaned it off for us. "The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to little children" (Matthew 19:14) is a verse that meant a lot to us after Luke went to heaven and we thought it fitting to write it on his marker for all to see.

Hooray! Luke's family-made marker was still there (the hearts were coming off, but my mom said that the crosses were still firmly in place--a sign? I think yes!). My parents brought some beautiful white roses with a blue bow for our sweetie.

Pop Pop is watching over our little man. I am sure they are having a great time up in heaven!

I also wanted to share a picture of a special gift that we were given in memory of Luke by my parents' Ellijay friends, Wilma and George Fordham. The Fordhams purchased a beautiful cypress tree for our baby boy. Mr. Fordham and my dad planted the tree in the back yard (well, the front yard, but I call it the back yard--long story) and my father took a picture of it. I look forward to visiting Ellijay soon and seeing how much the tree has grown. It is really nice because the cabin will be in our family for generations and as such, everyone will get to see Luke's special tree "grow up". Here is a pic of the gorgeous green cypress:

I also wanted to share a quick picture of our sweet baby girl on her first day of kindergarten. Emily is having so much fun and just loves being a big girl. She is learning so much and just adores her teacher. We are truly blessed to have her at such a great school!

I will have pictures of Matthew's first day of school next week. I left my camera at my sister Brigid's house this summer and she is going to send it to me (what? a hint? huh? I don't really need it--Ha!Ha!) when she gets a chance. Anyway, I brought one of those cool throw away cameras to take his picture. I hope they turn out. He had a great first day and can't wait to go back on Friday. His teachers seem really super and I know he will have a blast this year!

Once again, I hope all is well with all of our friends. I actually have a HUGE prayer request: one of Luke's sweet CVICU and cardiac floor friends, Patrick, has to go in for a second surgery this week or next. Patrick was not supposed to go in for surgery this soon, but his heart needs some repairs and this is the time to do it. PLEASE say lots of prayers for Patrick and his sweet family. His mom, Maureen, really helped me during our hospital stay and was always a friendly face to talk to . Patrick doesn't have HLHS like Luke, but he does have a lot of not fun stuff going on, so he could use the prayers. I know that Luke is up in heaven praying for him and asking God to help his little buddy out. Patrick is a little cutie and is a very special heart baby! Thanks for your prayers! God bless you all!!!!

Evidence of Luke's Legacy

Some weeks ago, we were blessed with a gift from God as well as a gift from Luke. For without Luke, this gift would not be ours. We had planned that Luke would be our last child. We knew that he would complete our family. Once Luke passed away, we knew immediately that God once again had other plans for us. Our hearts yearned for another baby, not to replace Luke, but to bring a new joy and healing to our family. Well, we are so excited and very happy to announce (finally) that our new gift is growing inside of me! I am about 11 1/2 weeks along with a new little life.


If you have read our blog from the beginning, you are aware that I am constantly looking for signs. I search for signs of our baby boy everywhere I go. Probably the biggest sign so far was during our first ultrasound (with Dr. Westmoreland in Houston). When we saw the baby, saw the heartbeat (to say that was emotional is an understatement), and heard the heartbeat, we were ecstatic. But nothing could prepare us for what we were about to hear: Dr. Westmoreland announced the due date as March 12th. What bigger sign could God and Luke have sent other than the fact that our new baby's due date was on Luke's birthday? Since then, I have had two ultrasounds here in Tennessee. They have moved the due date up to March 7th, right before our sweet angel's first birthday. I have found a great, caring doctor here who is well aware of Luke's journey. We have already discussed the precautions that we will take with this baby: level 2 ultrasounds and fetal echo cardiograms. Dr. Tinker is very understanding of all of my worries and he is definitely patient with my nerves.


As you can probably imagine, we are quite nervous about our new baby's heart. We were given a lot of statistics in regards to the heritability of HLHS and other CHDs. But we have faith that God will not give us more than we can handle. We are ready to face anything that may come our way. Like I said, we are so excited about this new baby and he/she is a true blessing and a miracle, just as all children are. We ask that you please keep Baby Haberman #4 in your prayers through the next few months. We are praying for a healthy heart and an uneventful 9 months. At about 20 weeks, we will have our first fetal echo cardiogram with a cardiologist and will have another at about 30 weeks to check for any signs of a CHD. As I mentioned above, we will also have a few level 2 ultrasounds to double check everything. This time, we should know for sure whether we are expecting a boy or girl--no more surprises as was the case with our sweet Luke! :) Here is a picture of one of our ultrasounds for your viewing pleasure. There are arms and legs, he/she just has them tucked in. :) Enjoy!

I have an emergency prayer request. Our friends Rich and Jacque's baby girl, Alyn (who is a few months younger than Luke), has to have an emergency surgery today. Yesterday, she was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis and the muscle between her stomach and intestine is contracting too much, causing severe vomiting. The surgery is pretty straightforward, but it is never fun to have your baby out of your hands (believe me, we have done it with all three of ours). Rich and Jacque are very dear friends and are the ones who introduced me and Tommy. Without them, we wouldn't have our special little family. I will update on Alyn on the next entry.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. You all have been amazing and we appreciate all of your kindness. By the way, our e-mail has changed. It is now thomas.haberman@att.net. Unfortunately when we changed services, they erased our address book. So, if you usually receive e-mails from us, would you mind sending a quick e-mail to this address so that we can re-add you to our address book? Thanks so much!!!!

Angel Day

I know that tomorrow is Luke's Angel Day, but I wanted to go ahead and post the blog since I wrote it today. The 18th is always a tough day of the month for me. Thanks for keeping an eye on us!

Four months since I held him...Four months since I fed him...Four months since I smelled him...Four months since we said "goodbye". I can't believe that four months have passed. I can't believe that Luke is no longer with us. I can't believe that I lost my baby boy. It still doesn't seem real. It still seems so foreign to me. It still seems like he should be here with us. I am sitting here crying right now. I am crying for Luke, I am crying for Emily and Matthew, I am crying for me and Tommy. I am just crying.

I still can't handle the sight of a baby carrier, even though Luke would probably have grown out of it by now. It is just that Luke was in a baby carrier when he was in the ambulance. The last memory I have of Luke alive was when he was in that carrier. Each time I see one, I either walk the other way, or face my fear and take a deep breath. I am sure it probably sounds silly, but it is just one of those "things" that I have to get over. I'm not sure if I will ever get over all of this, I guess the pain just lessens with time.

While Luke was alive, there were so many prayers offered up to God for him. At first, I wondered why the prayers for Luke weren't answered, but the more I thought about it, the more I believed that the prayers were indeed answered. The prayers were for Luke to get better and to have a healthy heart. The problem is that Luke was never going to have a healthy heart here on earth, at least not his own healthy heart. Luke's heart was not whole and in turn, did not (nor would it ever) work correctly. The only hope for a healthy heart would be a heart transplant. So, when all of our friends and family so thoughtfully sent prayers to heaven, God listened and gave Luke his whole heart. After all, isn't heaven the place where we all would like to live one day? How lucky that Luke was hand picked by God to be with Him? Luke is not hurting and Luke is in paradise. I can only be so blessed to join him there one day. So, thank you for your prayers for our sweet angel--they were heard and they were answered!

A great thing happened to me this past Friday (on the Feast of the Assumption, no less). When we registered at our new parish, they ask if there is anyone in the house who would like to speak to a priest. Of course, I wrote that I would like to speak to the priest about Luke's passing. I didn't think much of it and figured that I would get a call in a few weeks. On Friday, Father Parham from church called to set up an appointment. When he asked about Luke, I broke down. I am not talking about crying a little bit...I mean I wept. I had so many tears streaming down my face that I was making the phone (and probably the carpet) soaking wet. It had been a little while since I broke down like that. I guess that speaking to Father Parham just brought me such a spiritual feeling that I couldn't hold anything in. I felt badly for crying, but he was very patient with me and we made a tentative appointment for the beginning of September as he will be on vacation until then. I am glad that we have joined a parish that is so open and friendly, just as St. Anthony was in The Woodlands.

In case you all are wondering, Emily had a wonderful day at school on Wednesday. She is such a big girl and we are so proud of her. Matthew begins school next Monday and he is ready. He keeps telling us all that he is going to school "tomorrow". It is the same thing each day. The will both have a great time making new friends!

In closing, please continue to pray for all of the sick children. Did you know that Congenital Heart Defects are the #1 birth defect in the US? It is a crazy and scary statistic. I am hoping to begin some work with the hospital here in Memphis for It's My Heart in the next week or two, once things get settled down. My college buddy, Matt, gave me the names of some of the cardiology people there, so it is a GREAT start for me. Thanks so much, Matt! Please pray for Abby's mom, Heather, who had an emergency surgery on Saturday. She is doing fine, but she could use some extra prayers. Abby is doing well and just getting over a urinary tract infection. There are a number of other heart babies who I check on regularly. Some are doing well and others are struggling. Please take a second to say a quick prayer for them. Thanks for checking up on our little family. God bless you all and have a wonderful day!

* On a side note, my mom was asking how to make a comment on this new blog. This is for you mom: at the end of each entry, there is a place that says "__ comments". Just click on the word "comments" and it will take you to a new window. Fill out the form on the right. You may have to create a google account, but that is no big deal. Hope this helps, mom!

Happy 5 Months, Luke!

Today our sweet Luke would be 5 months old. Once again, I sit here wondering what he would be doing now: eating solids, sitting up, giggling, laughing at his sister and brother...It's hard because we had so many dreams for Luke, even after he was diagnosed. Although we knew that his life would be difficult, we had hopes for lots of things: he would be a champion golfer, he would share many holidays with us, and he would be the one to find a cure for HLHS. God had other plans for Luke, however, and I know He is using Luke to continue to help our dreams for him come true. Luke may not be the next Tiger Woods or the best cardiothoracic surgeon, but his life continues to make dreams come true. I have faith that Luke's story will help create more awareness for HLHS and congenital heart defects (CHDs) so that other heart children can thrive. That awareness will create more funding for CHDs, funding which is so desperately needed!

If you are familiar with this blog, you already know that I like to share stories of people who made a difference in Luke's life (as well as our entire family's lives). I want to share a little about my Aunt Debby. Debby is my mom's sister and is an amazingly compassionate and caring person. After Luke was diagnosed, Debby (a former cardiac nurse) offered to come to Houston to help us out once Luke came home. Of course, we took her up on the offer! Debby arrived a few days after Luke got home and they had an instant connection. Luke just adored Debby. Each morning after his meds, Debby would feed Luke while I pumped. She was always ready and willing to snuggle with our little sweetie. Debby just loved talking to Luke and looking into his bright blue eyes. He so enjoyed their time together and I know how much he loved her. Debby was with us the night Luke went home to heaven and I know it wasn't easy for her. She has been around heart patients a lot, but something seems so wrong when that heart patient is a 5 1/2 week old baby who did nothing to cause his condition. Debby, you will never know what it meant to me and Tommy to have you as such a big part in our baby boy's life. You were (and are) so amazing and I am so glad that Luke got the chance to know you and your kind spirit. You guys have such a special connection and I am incredibly thankful that God sent you to us during such a difficult time. God bless you!

By the way, my parents came into town last night (after a long trip with a blown out tire--God was certainly watching them!). We went on a tour of the town and celebrated Tommy's birthday with a YUMMY cookie cake. The kids were so excited to show them around the house and to show them their big rooms. Tomorrow is Em's first day of kindergarten. She will find out her teacher on Thursday and have her first full week next week. I am not scared about her going to kindergarten because I know she is ready (I am a teacher, remember? :) ), but I am nervous that I can't be the mom of a kid who goes to school 5 days a week. I'm not sure if I can get lunches ready and homework done each day...UGH! Wish us luck (especially me!). Take care and God Bless!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

I just wanted to write a quick post to wish my first baby, Tommy, a VERY happy birthday! Tommy and I have been through a lot over the years and especially the past few months. Our love has not faltered, only grown stronger. If you haven't met Tommy, let me tell you a little bit about him. Tommy gets a lot of teasing for being too quiet (which is pretty tough when you are married to someone like me who won't ever shut up). My sisters always tend to be on his case because he just stays so quiet a lot of the time. Truth be told, Tommy is a lot like my dad, so my sisters probably feel as though they have a "right" to tease him (plus he is younger than them--like the younger brother they never had). The fact of the matter if that Tommy amazes me each and every day. Behind that reserved demeanor lies great strength. I can always count on him to be the voice of reason when I am the picture of frustration. And as much as I tease him for being so quiet, he really does talk--a lot! I love to see Tommy interact with our kiddos. He is always so animated and fun. They are his world. He is so cute with them when they are babies. He makes this little babble sound with them, encouraging them to talk back to him. It always works! He is amazing with his babies--jovial and cheerful. Tommy was so kind with Luke. They were buddies. Tommy was Luke's protector. He was so strong the whole time--at the hospital looking at all of the lines and wires coming from our tiny son, at home feeding him the "correct" way (yes, there was a certain "way" we had to feed Luke), and at Luke's goodbye holding me when I could no longer stand up. I am so blessed that God put this man in my life and I am so thankful that Tommy asked me to marry him almost nine years ago. Thank you to Nana and Pop Pop for your "surprise" baby boy--he is perfectly incredible! Happy birthday, Tommy!

Thank you once again for all of your thoughts and prayers. We still welcome any heavenly help from all of our friends, old and new. God Bless you all! Oh, and I am including some fun pictures that my sister Brigid took at her house. We had fun at our little photo shoot. Here they are:

The Fam

Simply Stunning

He looks a little pained, doesn't he?

Surprise!

New Beginnings

Welcome to our new blog! Special thanks to my sister, Brigid, for helping design it using the papers from Luke's book. I like this blog because we can post more pictures. I am also hoping to post a slideshow and a few videos of Luke for those of you who were never able to meet him. That will take a little while, though, as I need to take things one day at a time...Anyway, we hope you enjoy our new format. I think that I will still post on CaringBridge so that you know when I update here. I am not yet sure how to send you an e-mail when I update here, so you may want to check back periodically.

Well, this is it! Our new home. We are anxious to make it our "own". I keep referring to it as "their house" instead of "our house". I think once we get rid of the boxes and put pictures up, we will be ready to call it "ours". We have lots of plans for the house and look forward to making lots of memories. Of course, we have lots of feelings that come along with moving. It's funny, because I wish that we just had to deal with the "normal" feelings you have when you move. Instead, we are dealing with much deeper and much more difficult issues. Not a minute goes by when I don't think of our sweet Luke and not a day goes by when I don't weep for him. I just keep thinking that things were supposed to be different and that he should be here with us. But in the end, I know that this is the way that God wanted it to be and that His plan is bigger than any of this. I just hope and pray that I can live up to His plan.

It has been a whirlwind since we arrived in Tennessee last Monday...I will try my best to get you all up to speed with the Haberman Clan. The kids were great on the car ride. Of course, there were arguments and whining, but all-in-all, they did pretty well. They were just excited to see their new home. We spent most of the week in a hotel and shuttled to and from doctor's appointments and restaurants. I can't tell you how happy I was to eat a home cooked meal (yes, I have been making dinner:) ). We got into the house on Friday (we had a few rooms painted) and had amazing movers. They were fast and careful. So far, I think the only casualties were a few Christmas ornaments. All of our china was untouched! We were greeted by the neighbors in the cove (yes, they are "coves" here--not cul-de-sacs) and they are wonderful! So welcoming and helpful! We are truly blessed to have moved onto a street with so many friendly faces. Today, I went to register Emily at school. She will go for a trial day next Wednesday and will begin her full schedule the following week. We find out her teacher next Thursday. I still can't believe that she is in kindergarten (even though she sounds like a 16 year old most of the time). She is very excited! Matthew begins school the last week of August and his teacher's name is Miss Celia. I just hope they are ready for our sweet little terror!

Other than that, things are going smoothly. Like I said, we are FULL with boxes. I think that I will take clothes out of boxes today--that should make the master bedroom feel a lot less cluttered.

On the last update, I told you about the plaque that we made for Luke's site. Her are a few pictures of the kids creating the plaque and in front of it at Luke's site. We were so happy to see that grass is beginning to cover his little area.

Em and Matt decorating at my parents' house

Daddy and kids (that is Pop Pop's marker on the right)

Mommy and kids

Emily kissing Wittle Bubba

Bubba kissing Wittle Bubba

The finished product

That was quite a day and I can't believe that Luke isn't with us. I just miss him so much. Every now and then, reality hits and the gravity of losing a child just leaves me numb. It is strange because it is just a feeling that I can't explain. It's like it is so unbelievable that it sometimes doesn't seem real. I am not sure whether or not that makes sense, but it is the only way I can explain it. Every morning when I wake up, it takes me a few minutes to realize that it is real and that we did lose our precious baby boy. Crazy, huh? But like I said, I know that God has a plan for our family and that Luke is a HUGE part of that plan.

In other absolutely wonderful news, Abby Ostlie received her new heart this weekend!!!! She is recovering right now and is doing GREAT! Please pray for Abby as well as the family who lost a child. What a great gift that family gave to the Ostlies! If you want to check up on Abby, her site is on the "links" section to the right of the page. This family has been on an amazingly difficult ride.

Once again, God Bless you all and your loved ones. Thank you for continuing to check up on our family. We are growing together one day at a time!