"When a child is born, it is the mother's instinct to protect the baby. When a child dies, it is the mother's instinct to protect the memory."
- Unknown
We've missed 18 years with our boy.
And I'm not quite sure what to say on his birthday this year. I've started to write some words and then thought to myself, "that's too harsh" or "that doesn't celebrate Luke in a way that honors him".
So I start over.
I'm not sure what to write.
Each year, I write in this blog, trying to come up with the words to celebrate the life of a boy gone too soon. And as each year passes, it becomes more difficult to come up with the right words to acknowledge the immense hole his loss has left in our hearts.
This year, I just want to say thank you. I want to thank everyone who has stayed with us over the last 18 years. The people who came before Luke, the ones who came during Luke, and the ones who came after Luke.
Because without your support and our faith, we wouldn't have survived.
That sounds intense, but it's true. Our family has survived the unimaginable because of you.
The countless prayers said on our family's behalf. My parents and Nana, who were there through everything. The teachers who watched Emily and Matthew when we were at Luke's bedside. The people who brought us meals when Luke passed. The friends and family who showed up to his funeral--I remember. Our family, who prepared our house to sell and move to Tennessee. Our little Collierville community, who rallied around a mother and father who were expecting another critically ill child. All the people who have donated to Luke's Tree and Luke's Legacy Boxes over the years. The countless friends who visit Luke's grave, because they know how much it means to us. The people who continue to show up and who aren't afraid to say his name. And who understand how important it is to us that Luke is not forgotten.
We survived because of you.
And for me, I could not have survived without Tommy and our children. I want to thank them for giving me grace when my heart is shattered. For making me smile when I wanted to cry. For always remembering their brother. For just being them. I am so very proud of them and I'm blessed to be surrounded by some pretty incredible humans.
This year would mean so many new experiences for Luke: buying lottery tickets, college decisions, high school graduation, voting. No, he'll never be able to experience these things, but I am confident that his life in paradise is better than anything we could ever experience here on earth.
Happy birthday, Luke. We love you more than you could ever know.
