My Love

Happy Anniversary to my love. Ten years have gone by and I am still so in love with you. I love your dimples, your smile. I love your strength, your stability. I love your laugh, your cry. I love the way you are with the kids. I love the way you are with me. I love you.

I wanted to share a few memories with you. Some reading this may "get" these memories, and some may be only for you and me. Either way, they remind me of you and they remind me of us:

* When we met at Outback Pub in May 1999 through Rich and Jacque. I thought you were a bit smug and you had no interest in me whatsoever. :) Little did I know that I had just met "the one".
* Golfing. Well, you golfing and me getting the cart stuck in the mud.
* Fruity drinks and "Thirty Something"--probably the two reasons we ever went out in the first place.
* Our first date. Again with Rich and Jacque--seriously, how are they always involved? (just kidding, love you Rich and Jacque).
* After our first date, staying out so late that my parents almost called the police because they didn't know where I was (and thank you to my father for always reminding us of that). :)
* Knowing that night that I had found my "one".
* Dating. You traveling, me student teaching. Going crazy until we could see each other over the weekends.
* Our engagement-3 1/2 months after we started dating. When you know, you know.
* Planning, planning, planning for a Christmas wedding.
* Losing your dad. I saw your true strength for the first time.
* The most beautifully perfect wedding ever with the most handsomely perfect man.
* Italy. Seriously, how lucky am I? Rome, Siena, and Amalfi. Showing me your heritage. Midnight Mass at St. Peter's. Amazing.
* Our first home. You flooding the downstairs on the day we closed. Priceless (although not too funny at the time).
* Labor with Emily. I really tried to be nice, but it really did hurt. That was one crazy night!
* Driving home from the hospital with Emily. All she did was cry. I remember talking to you about how we hoped that she wouldn't be this way all the time.
* Learning how to be parents. Emily made it pretty easy since she was an easy baby.
* Matthew. Do I need to say more? What a ride he has made things! I *wish* I could remember every Matthewism.
* Becoming pregnant with our third. Finding out that our last child would be another little girl, Ava "Caroline". Remembering that I never believed that "he" was a "she". Finding out that there were indeed testicles on the child and determining a name within thirty minutes. You came up with the perfect name: Luke Thomas.
* The day our innocence was gone. You know the day.
* The day our innocent was gone. Again, you know the day.
* Our move to Memphis, our time to grow up.
* Baby #4, "Cuatro". I'm not sure we had any what we were getting into with this one!
* Omphalocele: there's nothing like a little intestine hanging out of your child's tummy. Sweet Baby James bringing more joy into our lives.
* New normal. Still learning how to parent.
* Snuggles.

These are just a few of our many memories. And to tell you the truth, I am pretty tired, so the memories are probably all jumbled. I just want you to know that I cherish you. You are my best friend and the person who I trust with my everything. Thank you for loving me, for your patience when I am crazy, for being an incredible dad. Thank you for getting down on one knee and asking me to be your wife. Thank you and I love you!

To everyone else: God bless!

Luke's Tree 2010 is HERE!

Hi everyone,

I have been meaning to write, but have been so busy!!!! Below are some pictures from Emily's 8th birthday party and Halloween. They are cute as we had a pink pirate, a ninja warrior, and a sock monkey (Tommy's idea). I wish we had better pictures, but the kids were too excited to pose for me.

One thing I want to let you all know about is LUKE'S TREE! Yup, we are in our second year and it is going to be a GREAT one. This year, we have 16 FAMILIES--all with amazing and miraculous stories. It has been a blessing to hear each story and I am so thankful that they will have one less thing to worry about this year.

We also have a new website this year: http://www.lukestree.org/. My sister Katie has done a great job helping us out with the site (I am not internet savvy at all and she put it all together for us). On the front page of the website, there are two quilts up for bid: one sewn by my mother and one sewn by my friend (whose nephew passed away from HLHS). You can contact me at bernie@lukestree.org if you would like to bid on the quilts. If you are interested in helping to adopt a family, we still have one left. If you cannot adopt a family but still want to help, you can send individual items or gift cards, too. Just e-mail me and I can get you the information that you need. Of course, the biggest thing that we need is prayer. We are praying that this year will be even more successful than last year and we are pretty positive that this will happen!

OK, I need to go now as we are settling in at home after a fun Thanksgiving with Gramma, Grampa, Aunt Rita, Aunt Brigid, Uncle Fern, and our cousins. We are so thankful for the support from family, friends, and strangers. God bless you all!

Halloween in Pictures and Emily's Party

Nostalgia

*Just an FYI, I have Halloween pics to share as well as news on Luke's Tree 2010. I will share those tomorrow or Friday...this is a post that I felt compelled to write at this moment.*

Nostalgia is a funny thing...when you are feeling nostalgic, many emotions can come about. You can feel happy, sad, angry, or scared. You can feel anxious, relieved, or just plain exhausted. While feeling nostalgic this evening, I felt all of those emotions within a ten minute period.

You see, some absolutely amazing things have been happening with Luke's Tree this year: we have 16 families, donations have already begun to pour in, entire families are adopted before we even have the wishes. When I say that I am humbled by the generosity of others, it is an understatement. I spoke about Luke's Tree at my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting today. I promised them I wouldn't cry, which turned out to be a lie. The hugs and support that I received from my friends was unbelievable and I was so touched by their kindness.

With all of the joy that today brought, I figured that I would look into the "box". You angel moms know what I mean when I talk about the "box". Actually, if you are like me, you probably have more than one "box", but this is the one that holds some pretty special things. Included in tonight's "box" were items that people had given me after Luke was born, such as the rosary from Mo that she brought back from Venice, the special rosary given to Luke by my brother, books from friends, etc. I was ok while looking through these items, thinking of the care and concern given to us during Luke's life and shortly after his death. It wasn't until, after shuffling through some papers, I found a very special item: the keepsake certificate that the hospital gave us right after Luke was born and before his diagnosis. This certificate has his little footprints stamped on it. If you have been reading this blog for a while, then you know that we do not have imprints of Luke's hands and feet nor do we have a lock of his hair. This is one of the things that continues to tear at my heart--we have nothing concrete from our baby boy. Well, as I touched his footprints, I looked at my finger and saw the ink on it. I know that it sounds dumb and crazy, but I lost it at that moment. I was actually touching something concrete. The ink that was used to make prints of my baby boy's tiny toes was still wet! After two and a half years, it is still wet. So nostalgia caused me to seek out the "box", but it was the wet footprint that caused me to remember what a miracle he truly was.

I really should get to bed now as it is 1:30 am. I just felt the need to share this story with you because it really affected me. Please be sure to check out our new website for Luke's Tree at www.lukestree.org. We are praying for another amazing year and would appreciate any prayers. If you would like to donate, you can e-mail me at bernie@lukestree.org. There are a lot of heart babies who are coming into the world lately, please help us as we pray for them. God bless you all!

Happy Birthday to Emily

From this...

To this...

And this...

Happy birthday to our sweet Emily Bernadette. I can't believe it has been 8 years since

she arrived with a vengeance. We celebrated this past week in Georgia a few times...once with Gramma (her birthday was on the 14th) and again with Great Gramma (hers is on the 27th). I am bringing her some lunch and cupcakes tomorrow and we will celebrate again tomorrow evening. Her birthday party is on Halloween at the skating rink and she is so excited! As I did with Matthew, I would like to write Emily a little note. Here it goes, Emily...

I remember the day I found out that you were in my belly. Daddy and I wanted a baby for a very long time and I was so excited on Valentine's Day 2002 that I was pregnant with you! What a great Valentine's Day present for us and birthday present for me!!!! I will never forget that day because that is when I first knew that I was a Mommy. When we found out that you were a girl, I wasn't too surprised because I knew in my heart that you were my Emily. We gave you the middle name Bernadette, after Great Gramma, Gramma, and Mommy. Daddy and I immediately bought lots of pink clothes for our baby girl! I really can't believe that 8 years have passed since we first met you. You were beautiful then and are beautiful today. I am so proud of the little lady you have become and I look forward to sharing our "girl time" as you get older. These are the things that I love about you:

* I love your compassion. You are kind to others (except sometimes your bubba) and I am so proud of the way you treat your friends.

* I love your enthusiasm for learning.

* I love that you have empathy for those who are hurting.

* I love that you held our hands during Luke's funeral--it meant so much to me and Daddy.

* I love snuggling with you each morning.

* I love our pedicure dates.

* I love your hair--it is so soft!

* I love it when you sing with your I Pod.

* I love how gorgeous you are.

* I love having conversations with you--you are so mature.

* I love how determined you are to beat your arthritis...and you are doing just that!

* I love the notes you write to me and Daddy--they make us smile (even the ones you write when you are mad).

* I love how much you are into fashion (much more-so than Mommy).

* I love how much you love your brothers (yes, even Matthew).

* I love the relationship that you have with Daddy--you guys make me smile.

* I love that you are my girl, my only girl.

I love so many more things about you, sweet Emily. You and your brothers are so important to me and Daddy. I want to thank you for making me a Mommy. Thank you for doing "girly" things with me...pedicures, shopping, dancing, singing, etc. I am so thankful that God gave you to me. I am so excited for you, especially as you celebrate your First Reconciliation and First Communion. Eight is a big year for you, so make the most of it.

I love you,
Mommy

PS To all of our friends, Emily would LOVE it if you wrote her a quick birthday note. She was so excited that I am writing a post about her and her birthday, so if you know her (or if you don't), please feel free to leave her a quick note. Thank you and God bless!

1 in 100

1 in 100. That's it. That's all you have to be to have a child born with a congenital heart defect. 1 in 100. Wow.

Before Luke was born, we didn't know how common heart defects are (and remember that my niece has ToF, so we weren't strangers to CHDs). Before you learned of Luke's story, did you know how common they are?

Too common. Too many lives taken. Too many parents holding empty baby blankets. Too many siblings trying to figure out where their baby is. Too little research done to prevent CHDs from happening. Seriously, the amount of money spent of research for CHDs is laughable. Why don't heart defects get the coverage they need so that these children can live? I ask myself that question each day.

You may be wondering why I am up in arms about CHDs today? Well, in the blogging/Facebook world, heart moms tend to be like family. We constantly pray for the babies who are fighting and mourn for the babies who we have lost. This week, there have been at least nine angels who have earned their wings due to CHDs. Nine. Nine...and that doesn't even account for the countless children who we have lost who are not part of the blogging community.

Too common. Too many lives taken. Too many parents holding empty baby blankets. Too many siblings trying to figure out where their baby is. Too little research done to prevent CHDs from happening.

Until we can get the attention of the media and force the issue of CHDs, the funding for research will remain the same. If any of you reading this post are involved in any way with media outlets, I am begging you to help spread awareness of CHDs. Losing Luke was the most difficult thing that Tommy and I have ever faced. We don't want any other parents to weep over their child's crib. With more research, hopefully no other parent will be forced to do that. I can give you statistics, personal accounts, as well as point you in the direction of medical professionals who would help shed more light on CHDs.

Thanks for allowing me to vent...it is so difficult to read the beautiful words that these new angel mothers have written, knowing that I have been there, too. Please pray for the souls of the gorgeous children the world has lost this week, including Joshua and Ewan (I followed their stories). Please also continue to pray for my sweet friend Ashley and her beautiful baby girl who will be born with a CHD. God bless!

PS Thank you so much for writing notes to Matthew on the previous post. He loved reading his birthday messages!

Happy Birthday to Matthew

Matthew right after he was born...I'm thinking that I may do a comparison of this pic and Luke's newborn pic. It's uncanny how similar they look.

Matthew's baptism. That gorgeous dress was made by Tommy's Nanny from the same material as his mother's wedding dress.

Messy Matthew

Love this face!

Today, our little man is 6 years old. We celebrated yesterday with a party at the local gymnastics place and went to dinner at Red Robin (or Red Robin...YUM as Matt calls it) as that is where he wanted to go. The photos above are of Matthew through the years and below are some pics from his party. Since he is now our big boy and can read, I want to write a special letter to him. Matthew...this one's for you.

Our sweet Matthew,

I remember when Daddy and I found out that you were a boy. We were excited and nervous all at the same time. We knew how to take care of a girl thanks to Emily, but a boy was something totally different. I hoped that I would be a good "boy mom". I remember going to the store that day and buying your first baby boy outfit. I was so excited to meet you. Now that you are 6 years old, I am still so excited to be a boy mom. Bubba, you are my favorite six year old and I am so thankful you are mine. Here are just a few of the things that I love about you:

* I love your hair, my little brillo head.

* I love your voice and the way that you talk.
* I love that you are our Captain Obvious.

* I love the fact that you can talk to God whenever you want--and that He talks back to you.

* I love that you never take blame for anything.

* I love how much you love your sister and brothers.

* I love your puppy dog eyes.

* I love your dimples.

* I love your enthusiasm for everything.

* I love the way you snuggle with me each morning.

* I love the way you hold your breath when you breathe.

* I love your great big stinky feet.

* I love what a good student you are at school and how well you can read.

* I love that your hands look just like Great Grampa Myers' hands.

* I love the way that you start every sentence with "Mom..."when you are talking to me.

There are so many more things that I love about my Bubba. You, Emily, Luke, and James are the best things that happened to me and Daddy. We are so glad that you are ours and that God blessed us with you. We can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays with you!

Love,

Mommy

PS. If you know Matthew (or even if you don't), please feel free to leave a comment and let him know what YOU love about him and I will let him read them. He would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see what people have to say about him (and so would I :)). Also, please continue to pray for all sick children. I have a friend here who is pregnant with a sweet heart baby and she could use your prayers. God bless you all!

Now for the pictures: