Growing Up

I remember when I was little...all I wanted to do was grow up. I remember wanting to go to Kindergarten so that I could ride the bus. Wanting to go to second grade so that I could write a special book that only Mrs. Adamson's class got to write. Wanting to go to sixth grade so that I could have a locker. Wanting to go to high school so that I could date. Wanting to go to college so that I could learn more about myself. Wanting to find my best friend so that I could marry him. Wanting to get married so that I could be a mom.

Now? I would like to stop growing up. Seriously, I'm good. It is so cliche', but this is happening too quickly. I see the hopes and dreams that I had when I was a child in the eyes of my own babies. I see the little girl who is about to start second grade, the little boy who will begin kindergarten in the fall, and the baby who *gulp* will attend Mother's Day Out next year. Where has the time gone? Where are my babies? They are growing up and it is too much for me.

This beauty is truly becoming a little lady. She may not be a morning person and she may not always be nice to her little brother, but she has a very gentle heart. I have watched her with her friends and with babies and she is so kind. Is she the typical oldest child, bossy and mothering? Yes. But her heart is pure and she loves with all of it. Tommy and I are so very proud of this little girl. She was awarded a Citizenship Award at school and scored the highest in her class (along with a classmate--they tied) for her reading level. She is an over-achiever and has self confidence that I could only have wished for at her age. She is amazing and we are looking forward to her dance recital next month!

I don't think I am ready for this one to grow up. This is a picture of him after his final preschool program. He is now officially a kindergartner. He is a constant source of laughter and fun. We are so proud of his accomplishments this year. He has really taken to reading and seems to enjoy it (which has really surprised us). He is intent on behaving in kindergarten and is counting down the days until the first day. Matthew's teacher wrote the sweetest thing on his end of year evaluation: "Matthew is every teacher's dream student." I am a very proud Momma, so forgive me for bragging...but if you knew him when he was two years old, you would be proud, too. :)

There really are no words for this one. He has brought such joy to our lives and it pains me to think of all that he has been through. He's a tough one and he gives us a run for our money. He is learning new things each day and he is growing up way too quickly. He is so friendly and says "ha" (hi) to everyone he sees. We are so happy that he is our baby and that we were blessed with his life.

I can't think of Emily, Matthew, and James growing up without thinking of our angel who will never grow up. Luke is perpetually 5 1/2 weeks old. He will always be a baby and we will never know what a grown up Luke would be. We will never get to see him go to preschool, to kindergarten, to college. He will never get married, he will never be a father. He will always be our baby. This is one of the most difficult things that Tommy and I face each day. We are at peace with God's plan for Luke, but as his parents it is still difficult not to think of what might have been.

Before I turn in for the night, I wanted to share the story of the Huggins Family with you. Kyle and Christie have three great children: Lauren, Blake, and Tristan. I "met" Christie through Carter Oswalt's blog (www.caringbridge.org/visit/carteroswalt) and we had a great conversation last week. Christie and I have a great connection because we are both heart moms. Lauren and Blake are twins who were born a few months before Luke. Lauren is heart healthy, but Blake has HLHS just like Luke. Blake is a warrior and has achieved some pretty amazing feats. He has had his first two surgeries (Norwood and Glenn) and will have his Fontan next month. PLEASE pray for this family while they travel to Vanderbilt for this surgery. Tristan is Kyle and Christie's third child. He was diagnosed with a particularly lethal form of HLHS (yes, there are varied degrees of HLHS). They were told that Tristan's heart was so broken that he wouldn't even make it to birth. Christie gave birth to Tristan on May 2nd at 25 weeks gestation. He lived in their arms for an amazing 23 minutes. Christie wrote the most wonderful tribute post to him on her blog at www.kyleandchristieplus3.blogspot.com. Please visit to see pictures of this gorgeous family and please add them to your prayer list. As I said, Christie and I spoke last week and we had an instant connection. She is so strong and really gave me a lot of hope. She also gave me some information on a research study that is going to look at CHDs and genetics. If you are a heart family and would like more information, please drop me a line. Thank you to Christie for sharing your heart and your story...I am in awe of you.

Once again, God bless you all. We are anxiously awaiting a fun-filled summer, full of swim lessons, VBS, and trips to the museum.