Fun times...

I don't have much time to post as James is hungry, sitting on his Daddy's shoulder, but I wanted to post a few pics form the last few weeks (along with a video at the end)...

Happy birthday to our main man, Tommy! We celebrated with dinner out the night before and this YUMMY cake! Is James a clone of his father or what?!?!

Emily on her first day of FIRST GRADE! Seriously, where does the time go? We are so proud of Emily and her accomplishments. She is an amazing reader and she has the kindest heart (although Matthew may beg to differ).

Emily is in Mrs. Wright's class this year and she just loves her teacher. She has so many wonderful friends in this class and we are excited to watch her blossom this year!

This is a new video of our little man. James is 6 months old now and is a crazy little guy! He does not have stranger anxiety, but does have "I don't want to be put down" anxiety. He really likes to be held and entertained. We are still waiting on him to sleep through the night, but we are just thankful he is here with us! I took this video this evening as he was playing on a toy that Sabrina (cousin) gave him. He likes to stand up on things. He has fairly good balance, but Mommy holds on to his arm just in case. He is a strong little bugger!

Just a quick note on two heart friends: my dear friend, Rebecca (mom to HLHS angel Annabelle--her blog address is on the right), gave birth to a HEART HEALTHY, beautiful baby boy named LUKE last week. Rebecca and I have shared stories as well as tears many times and I am so happy that she, Scott, Wyatt, and Annabelle (up in heaven playing with our Luke) have their own "bringer of light" to enjoy! Also, I met a new heart mom friend, Charity, through DyMisha (Nia's mom). Charity gave birth to Asher on my father's birthday in July. Asher also has HLHS and has had a lot of ups and downs. Asher is currently in heart failure and the doctors are trying to figure out how to help him out. Please keep Charity, Wallace, and especially Asher in your thoughts and prayers. Asher is another gorgeous baby who is stronger than most people. He is an amazing little guy!

Thanks for checking up on us. I really appreciate the tips on the cradle cap--I have tried the baby oil in the bathtub trick and that seems to really help. It's just so hard when the baby is as bald as James! We always love to read your comments and appreciate them so much! God bless you all and have a wonderful week!

Missing him...

Just a quick note tonight...I just wanted to let Luke know how much I am missing him tonight. I miss him every day, but there are some days (such as today) when the loss seems so unbearable and I feel like I can't stop crying. Luke, I miss you more than you could ever know. Thank you for your strength (I wish I had an ounce of it), your beauty (again, an ounce), and your wisdom. Thank you for asking God to send us another child and thank you for being his guardian angel. I was talking to someone yesterday about how James had two true knots in his cord and how it was a miracle that he made it. She told me that James must have had a guardian angel looking out for him...that's when it hit me: Luke is James' guardian angel and he made sure to keep James safe in my womb until he was born. I don't know why I never thought of that before. That's how I know that James is going to be ok...Luke won't let anything happen to him, he will always be watching over him, asking God to protect him. As my mother says, Luke is sitting on our shoulders and is keeping us all safe. Thank you to our dear angel, what an amazing soul!

Thanks for letting me let out my emotions tonight...it has been a tough week as one of my dear friends here lost her mother suddenly this weekend. Kimberly set up the Sacrament of Healing when we first found out about James' omphalocele and she also set up meals for us after James was born. Kimberly has been a constant source of prayer and support for our family since we moved here and I am so saddened by her loss. Her mother Linda and father Bob (a deacon at our parish) raised an amazingly faithful woman and I commend them for that!

Our house has been pretty low key, waiting for school to start. Emily can't wait to start first grade and she is looking forward to finding out who her teacher is this week. Matt found out his teachers last week, but won't start school until the end of the month. They love each other a lot, but seem to be losing more and more patience with each other as the summer winds down. James is trucking along and he will be 6 months old next week. He is a little chunk and no one can believe he is only 6 months old. Oh, if anyone has any idea on how to get rid of cradle cap (or the dried skin left behind), please let me know--this kid has the worst case of it ever!!!! I took the three of them to get some pictures taken today and will post them when I have time to scan them into the computer.

Thanks, once again, for listening to my ramblings...you guys are awesome! God bless!

More pics...

My sister took some fun pictures before we left her house...I wanted to share them with you...

PS check out the post below for some pics from our vacation...

Simply Pictures...

Not much to say, but wanted to share some pics of our "Tour de Southern US" from the past month. We went to Houston and then traveled to Macon, Ellijay, and Alpharetta, Georgia. For an update on James, visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/jameshaberman. God bless! First sink bath at Gramma and Grampa's house

Eating rice cereal for the first time. Look at that open mouth!

Soooooo good!

Matthew and Ryan (Jill's little boy). It was as if they were never apart!

Me with Traci, Jill, and Bobbie (old friends form home). Jill set up a night out at Rico's (my fave) with all of our Houston/The Woodlands friends. It was SOOOOO great to see everyone!

Tommy with old friends Erick and Bobby

I love, love, love this picture! James and Tommy looking at Tommy's Dad's marker. We visited the cemetery on Father's Day and had a breakfast picnic. It was very nice and the cemetery people even put a tent up for us so we wouldn't get too hot.

Happy boy

Gramma and Grampa

The whole family together for the first time!

At Gramma and Grampa's house with cousin Dannie in their cousin outfits!

The kids in front of Luke's Prayer garden at St. Anthony

Great Gramma with the kiddos

James with my Gramma. Mother of NINE kids and grandmother to 26. What an amazing woman she is!

I love this pic of my dad holding James in the cabin. James fell asleep just like this!

Our dancing girl at her recital

Emily and Mommy

Mommy and Matthew

My sister makes AMAZING shirts each year for the parade in Ellijay. We keep hoping the kids' picture will end up in the local newspaper!

Emily and my cousin, Julia.

Matt and Grampa

Love this pic!

Going through the parade candy.

This is Matthew every year at the fireworks: sitting on a lap with his hands over his ears.

At the stream at the bottom of the mountain with cousins.

Emily is our fishing queen...she always catches a fish when she visits the cabin.

Priceless face!

"Peas are yummy!"

He takes his peas so well from his big sissy!

Matthew feeding James some peas...I love James' face in this (oh and Matthew is in his jammies--pants/no shirt, btw).

Prayers needed once again!

Good evening everyone!

Just a quick note to ask you all once again for prayers for two little girls battling HLHS. A few weeks ago, I blogged about Nia and Naomi Richardson, twin girls who are still in their mommy's belly. Well, TUESDAY is the big day when DyMisha and Norwood will welcome their beautiful girls into the world! As I wrote last time, Nia has been diagnosed with HLHS and will be transferred to TCH shortly after birth. Please, please, please keep this wonderful family in your thoughts and prayers this week as they face a beautiful and fearful journey with their little ladies. Their blog is www.gracefullydiscoveringme.blogspot.com. I know that DyMisha would love to have you all write some words of encouragement on her blog! I will keep you posted on their progress!

Also, another prayer request for Princess Lindsay Dean. Lindsay is the beautiful blue-eyed sweetie who I wrote about last time as she was receiving her new heart. Lindsay was doing GREAT with recovery, but had a bump in the road a few weeks back when she aspirated and her new heart stopped. As you can imagine, Suzie and JR thought that they had lost their princess. Since then, Lindsay has been fighting hard and her recovery is slow, but steady. Please keep this sweet baby in your prayers. Her blog is www.lindsaysheart.blogspot.com, please visit and read Lindsay's amazing story!

God bless you all...I will have an update on us along with pictures from our summer trips very soon!

Prayer Requests...

Hi everyone! As a heart mom, I can't help but follow other heart families. Even though our precious Luke is no longer with us, we will always be a heart family. As such, I have two very big, very urgent prayer requests:

Lindsay Dean (www.lindsaysheart.blogspot.com) is getting her new heart RIGHT NOW! Lindsay has been in the hospital in Michigan since her second open heart surgery. The Glenn did not work, and the doctors told her parents that she needed a new heart. The Deans have been so strong and have been through so much--they are elated at the news of a new heart! Please visit Lindsay's blog and leave the Deans a note of encouragement as this is going to be a long night and a long few days for them. They are an amazing family and Suzie and JR are wonderful parents. Please also pray for the family who gave the greatest gift to the Dean family: the gift of life. They are grieving a loss that is unimaginable (we know that firsthand) and they did such a selfless act for someone else. God bless them and their sweet angel!

I also wanted to ask for prayers for a family expecting twins, one of whom has HLHS (http://gracefullydiscoveringme.blogspot.com/). DyMisha and her husband Norwood are expecting twins Nia and Naomi very soon. Nia has HLHS and will be whisked away to Texas Children's soon after birth. As you can imagine, this is a very tough time for DyMisha and Norwood, but they are holding on to their faith that Nia will do beautifully during her surgeries and her life. I was "introduced" to DyMisha through our mutual friend Leigh Anne via Facebook. We spoke on the phone and I know she is going to be such a great mom to these sweet girls. I am hoping to visit them in the hospital if the babies are born while we are in Houston--I would love to meet DyMisha and see her gorgeous twins! Plus, I think it is about time for me to "face" TCH and the CVICU. Please, please, please visit DyMisha's blog and lend her some support as this is a scary time for this young couple.

Thank you for continuing to visit our blog. You are all such amazing people and we are blessed to have you in our lives. God bless!

A Garden of Prayers

First off, I would like to thank everyone for your support on Luke's Angel Day. A number of people e-mailed, left notes on CaringBridge, and sent me Facebook messages. I was touched that so many people said a little prayer for us as well as for our angel on that day. Special thanks to Amy, Addie, Jack, and Jacque for going to visit our angel on that day (especially because there were HORRIBLE storms in Houston). You have no idea how much it means to us that others will visit Luke when we are unable to. We are looking forward to having a picnic with our angel when we visit Houston in June. Here are a few pictures that Amy sent us (sorry they are so small):

Addie with the flowers that she brought

Addie placing the sweet ceramic angel they purchased for Luke. Amy said that Addie insisted on putting the angel on the stone--I think that is so cute!

Luke's site

If you have read our journals since the beginning, you know that I worked in an amazing place before Luke was born. St. Anthony of Padua Little Saints Early Childhood Program is like a little family and I am so blessed to have been a part of it. The last few years have been tough on the staff at Little Saints. In October 2006, Hans was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Hans is the son of one of my teacher friends, Lara. Hans is such a fighter and is doing really well! Read his story at http://www.hansjourney.blogspot.com/. A week before we lost Luke, another teacher friend, Leah, lost her twin boys Mason and Matthew at 21 weeks gestation. Then, we lost our Luke. After the loss of Luke, Mason, and Matthew, the staff and parents at Little Saints had an idea to create a prayer garden in memory of these angels. The children at Little Saints (including Emily and Matthew) decorated tiles to later be placed in benches for the memorial. Well, the garden was completed a few weeks ago and Father Tom (St. Anthony Pastor) blessed it on Thursday. Needless to say, Tommy and I were devastated that we couldn't be there. But Gramma, Grampa, and Nana, as well as many friends, were there to dedicate the garden to the three amazing angels.

Since we couldn't be there, I sent a note from us. The staff passed the note out to all who attended. I wanted to share the note with all of you:

First of all, Tommy and I would like to thank all of you for coming today. We are extremely saddened that we cannot be with you all at this moment. As you all know, our Luke was an amazing baby with a strong soul. Luke was born fighting for his life and many of us will never have to fight as hard in our 100 years as that little angel fought in just 5 ½ weeks. Luke lived for nine months in my belly, and only 37 days on earth outside of my womb, but he lives forever in the paradise that God has created for us in heaven.

We are so thankful for the many prayers that you all have said for our family over the course of the past year. We all prayed so hard for a miracle: that Luke would be healed. When Luke passed away, we realized that he did get the miracle we prayed for: Luke was welcomed into heaven as one of God’s little saints. How ironic is it that I worked at Little Saints and now I have my own little saint who gets to sit on Jesus’ lap? I can call on Luke and ask him to intercede whenever I want. I think that is a pretty big miracle. It is also a miracle that Luke will not have to have his chest opened again nor go on heart-lung bypass once more. It is a miracle that Tommy and I will never have to mourn the loss of another child so that our child may have a new heart. The biggest miracle that we witnessed because of the loss of Luke was the birth of our Sweet Baby James. Without Luke, this little miracle wouldn’t be with us. I know that Luke was watching out for his baby brother throughout the pregnancy and during his hospital stays. I know that Luke continues to watch after James as well as me, Tommy, Emily, and Matthew. My mom tells us that Luke is always on our shoulder and I think that is a pretty neat thing!

This time last year, I spent a lot of time asking God “why?” Why Luke? Why our family? I remember shouting to God at the top of my lungs the day that the movers came to get our furniture. I yelled, I screamed, I wept. As I sat in my house, all alone, I begged God to tell me why. I remember vividly saying “not my baby, I need him”. I still need him. We need him. But I need to remind myself that I do have Luke with me all the time. We all have Luke with us.

While I still ask why at times, now I find myself asking “why not?” Why not Luke? Why not our family? Luke was able to live an entire lifetime in just 5 ½ weeks. Did he ever get to visit Disney World? No. Did he get to attend school? No. Did he get married and have children? No. BUT, that little boy felt so much love and gave so much love, which is what we should all hope for in our lives. On the night we lost Luke, we knew he was not going to make it early on. The doctors, nurses, and staff at St. Luke’s ER tried so hard to save him, but we knew it was all for not. Tommy and I sat outside of the ER praying. Praying for our baby boy, praying for our family. We told God that it was OK for Him to take our baby. We would rather him live in heaven, whole and healthy, than live here with an uncertain future. I think that this was the most difficult thing we will every have to do in our entire lives.

In our absence, my parents (Gramma and Grampa) and Tommy’s mom (Nana) have come to celebrate Luke’s life. They have been our saving grace this year, to say the least. We feel so blessed that God gave us such caring and loving parents. We just hope that we can bring as much joy to our children’s lives as they have brought to ours. I want to thank them for everything. Thank you to Gramma for being Mommy when I couldn’t be, for being our personal maid and cook, for your prayers, and for being my mother when I needed you the most. Thank you to Grampa for being our extra ear during countless doctor’s appointments and consults, for being our chauffeur, for taking care of business, and for being Luke’s best buddy (he loved you so very much). Thank you to Nana for being Tommy’s shoulder to lean on, for being Emily and Matthew’s favorite playmate, and for your constant positive outlook. You are all incredible and we feel so blessed!

We would like to thank Katie, Denise, and the Little Saints staff for their love and support during the past year. What an amazing group of people! We would also like to thank the St. Anthony Church staff as well as the day school staff for their encouragement—this is quite an incredible faith family. Thank you, also, to the many parents at Little Saints and the day school whose children I have taught—you all have become my friends and I am so thankful for that! I have heard so many wonderful things about the prayer garden and we are humbled that our angel can share this honor with Matthew and Mason Bass. God bless you all and God bless the angels who watch over us!

God bless,
Bernie Haberman
(and Tommy, Emily, Matthew, James, and Angel Luke)

Tommy and I would like to thank Miss Allison and Miss Suzanne for helping to create this beautiful garden. Thank you to Katie, Denise, and Suzanne O'Neil for helping to coordinate the blessing. We appreciate Father Tom taking the time to bless this very special place. Here are a few pictures that friends and families sent:
The garden

Luke's cross and plaque

Angel with Little Saints plaque

Close-up

Luke's plaque close-up

Father Tom giving the blessing

The crowd

Matthew's tile (I'm not sure Grampa could find Emily's tile)

First bench

Second bench

Benches together

Isn't the garden beautiful? We are so thankful for this wonderful tribute to our boy! We hope that all of you are well. Our family is doing well and James is growing like crazy! May God bless you all!

PS Please pray for another St. Anthony family who is going through a difficult time. Matt Best is husband to Katie and father to Kelly and Andrew. Matt was diagnosed with cancer in March and the doctors have told him it is terminal. Right now, they are making him comfortable. I met Katie in the moms group at St. Anthony. They are a beautiful and faithful family and could really use a lot of prayers right now. You can visit their site and leave a note at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/mattbest. Once again, God bless you all!