Waiting...

This time last year, we were waiting. Now I find myself waiting once again. The difference is that last year we were waiting to welcome a healthy baby boy. This year, we are waiting to celebrate his birthday without him here. How do you celebrate an angel's birthday? What will he think when he hears us sing "Happy Birthday"? Will he realize how much we miss him? Will he realize how much we wish he was here with us? Will he realize that we have not forgotten about him? I don't ever want Luke to think that we have forgotten about him or that we have abandoned him. I would give anything to have all four of our children with us.

Luke's first birthday is this Thursday, March 12th. I can't believe all that we have faced this year. We have had unimaginable triumphs and unthinkable tragedy. We have buried one son and welcomed yet another. We have spent weeks in the NICU with two boys, praying incessantly over their cribs. We have left friends in Texas and made new ones in Tennessee. We have relied on God more than ever before. And in the end, through our faith, we have persevered. As James' letter in the Bible says, "for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:3-4. If you remember, this is one of the reasons that we gave James his name. I read this passage at night while James was in the hospital and it helped renew my faith each time. I feel like the character in the poem, "Footprints" (the one where God carries the man during the trials in his life). God has held me closely during this year and I think I am finally at the point where I can walk by myself. Besides, God must have gotten pretty tired carrying me all that way!!!! I thank God for giving me the strength I have needed to get through this year.

So, as we prepare for Luke's birthday, I am reminded of our other heart angel friends who have recently celebrated their first birthdays. Eden and Annabelle just had birthdays within the last month. Their mothers wrote beautiful tributes to them and I am so glad to have them as Heart Mom friends. The kids are going to help bake and decorate a cake and we will release balloons for Luke and his friends to play with. If Luke touched your life in any way, please take a second to say or sing "Happy Birthday" to our angel on Thursday...I know he would love it! I think the hardest part about Luke's birthday is that we won't be able to visit him at the cemetery. Luckily, my brother-in-law, Mike, will be in Houston and he is going to visit Luke. I know that will make Luke smile as I am sure that he and Mike would have been good buddies (Mike is amazing with our kiddos). Thank you for doing this, Mike. You have no idea how much we appreciate this!!!!

Thank you for journeying with us throughout this past year. Your prayers and support have been wonderful and we are so thankful that you all are in our lives. God bless you all!