Healing Hearts...One Gift at a Time

Hi guys! It has been such a long time since I blogged...I need to get better with this. I have lots of photos from Halloween (yes, it's been that long) and Thanksgiving to share, but I will save those for another post (which I hope will not be too long). Tonight, I wanted to share a project that we have begun which is very close to our hearts: LUKE'S TREE!

Unfortunately, many families are facing tough times this Christmas. There are many heart families who are struggling not only to pay large medical bills, but who are also struggling emotionally. For this reason, we have decided to help with a project at Le Bonheur (where James was treated nine short months ago) called Luke's Tree. Luke's Tree is in memory of our sweet angel and is a way for us to give support to heart families when they need it the most. Some of the stories we have heard from the families and CVICU staff include a house fire, a farm family whose crops failed due to the rain we have experienced, a family who is about to list their son for a heart transplant, etc. Each day is an emotional struggle for these families (believe this, we have been there) and we are hoping to ease some of the financial burdens that they are facing this season.

Presently, we have sent postcards out to eleven families in the mid south. These heart families were hand picked by the staff at Le Bonheur and are very deserving of our help. We are compiling wish lists from the families and are looking for friends and family to donate to the cause.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP? We'd love to have you! Here's what you can do: e-mail us at lukestree@yahoo.com. Let us know if you would like to "adopt" an entire family or whether you would like to fulfill a wish or two. No gift is too big or too small and we are just appreciative of the support we have already been given! If you have a group that would like to participate together, we would gladly welcome that, too! In fact, our first family was adopted by a group of my friends and most of the gifts have already been purchased! You don't need to live in the Memphis area to donate...you can have your gift/donation sent directly to us and we will deliver the gifts to Le Bonheur and, in some cases, directly to the families. Check out http://www.lukestree.blogspot.com for even more information.

One other thing...please feel free to forward this information on to all of your family and friends. Like we said, we have been so overwhelmed by the support and generosity we have already received. We feel as though this is our way to "give back" in honor of Luke's memory. It helps to know that we are making the holidays a little brighter for our fellow heart families. Hopefully, with your help, we can start "healing hearts...one gift at a time". God bless you all!

Message from Luke

Seriously, is this not the most beautiful face you have ever seen? Those eyes are the wisest I have ever seen. I always talk with other HLHS moms and we discuss our babies' eyes. It's like you can see directly into their souls. As promised, I am writing this post about Luke. After all, Luke is the reason we began this blog and I want everyone to remember what an amazing soul he is. Lately, I have had a lot of emotions and I'm not sure I can get them across eloquently, but I will try to share them nonetheless.

Now back to the picture...as I look at pictures of Luke, I still can't believe it. I can't believe that he was born with half of a heart. I can't believe that he lived through the most critical surgery that is performed on newborns. I can't believe that he came home without any tubes or wires. I can't believe that we lost him. I can't believe that he is no longer with us. Lately, I have seen a lot of babies Luke's age (about 19 months old). I don't know what it is, but I am drawn to these babies. I find them anywhere and no matter what, I can always guess their ages.

I miss him. I miss his smell. I miss his hair. I miss that serious little look he always gave us. I miss his cry. I miss the way he brought everyone together. I miss his smile, although we were only able to see it a few times.

I want him. I want to know how he would look right now. I want to see him walk. I want to hear him say "Mama". I want to see him eat solid foods. I want him to meet his little brother. I want to hear him laugh.

For some reason, it's the laughter that always gets to me. One of the most precious things to hear is the laughter of a baby. Tommy and I never got to hear our baby boy laugh. He was such a serious little man and never made it to that important milestone. I pray that he is up in heaven right now, laughing at me for being sad. I pray that he is up there asking God to make me realize that he is happy and that he is laughing every day. I need that.

Which leads me to something truly amazing. If you have been with us since the beginning, you may remember a few days after we lost Luke that he visited me in a dream. This was my entry on April 24, 2008:
Speaking of dreams...last night I had a dream that Luke came back to life. In the dream, I explained to everyone that he had come back and that he was here with us again. When I woke up to tell Tommy about the dream, he explained that he had a similar dream a few nights ago. After talking about it, we decided that our dreams were the "sign" from Luke and from God that we have been praying for. We think that Luke was telling us that he is alive again, just as Jesus rose after His death. Although it was a "sad" dream for me at the time, I believe that Luke was telling me that he is living in Heaven now, just as he told Tommy a few nights ago.

Well, a few weeks ago, I believe that our angel once again sent his Mommy a very important message. On the night Luke went to heaven, we were asked whether or not we wanted to do an autopsy so that the doctors could "look at his heart". We decided against this as we knew that Luke died of complications from HLHS. We felt peace about our decision. Even though Luke's surgeon confirmed that we would probably never have been able to find out what exactly happened that night, I have always had these lingering questions: was it a stroke? Did he aspirate? Was he in heart failure the week before when he wasn't eating well? Was it a heart attack? What happened to our baby? As a parent, you want to control the situation and that night, that control was taken from us. A few weeks ago, I woke up from a dream without those lingering questions. I woke up knowing what happened to Luke. I can't tell you who was in my dream or if Luke was even there, but I can tell you that I truly believe I know what happened to our baby boy. I believe that our angel let me know what happened to him. I'm not going to go into what I now believe to be true, but I will say that I have an enormous peace about that night and I now know that there was nothing any of us could have done to save Luke. It was his time and it was the time that I believe he and God agreed on before he was even born. Thank you Luke for being my angel.

God bless you all!

Where have we been?!?!

WOW! It has been a very long time. I feel like every time I get ready to write a blog, I fall asleep! We have been a busy bunch here and we are having a great fall. Since my last post, we have: sent Matthew off to his last year of preschool, visited the Peabody Hotel to see our duck friends, met Uncle Bob for dinner while he was on a layover, traveled to Sevierville for some water fun, driven to Dallas for Bump (my grandfather) and Matthew's birthdays and the Aggie football game, etc., etc., etc. It has been CRAZY!

I wanted to share some pictures and update you all on everyone in the family. First, some pics of our fun times... All of us in front of the fountain at The Peabody Hotel.

"The Clones" on the way to the water park in Sevierville.

The whole bunch at www.wildernessatthesmokies.com. This is such a neat place, complete with an indoor water park. Soooo much fun going down the water slides with Em and Matt, although much scarier than when we were little. I was so scared that I would lose one of them while going down the slide!

Emily and Matthew with the water park's mascot.

James and Uncle Rob (my brother)

Bump and his male offspring. Included in the pic are (L-R): Rob, my Uncle Win, my nephew Robby, Bump, my father, James, and Matt. Bump turned 94--he looks GREAT! We celebrated at my Uncle Win and Aunt Jan's house. My parents drove up from Houston to visit with us, too. Tommy went to the Aggie game with Rich and Jacque (our good friends) and sadly, watched the Aggies lose yet another game.

Bump celebrating with Emily and her cousin Dannie. These girls have so much fun together!!!!

Daddy and Matthew at Matt's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. Yes, I am one of those moms. I loathe Chuck E. Cheese, too, but this is what Matthew really wanted. I had a birthday party there when I was little and I still remember it (either that, or the fact that my sweet Aunt Ginny told me that Chuck E. hates kids). Either way, Matthew had a blast!

Sunday was absolutely gorgeous and so we went to the town center and took some pictures of the kids. This is the best we could get of all three of them!

Now for some updates on the kiddos...

Our gorgeous girl, Emily. Emily has been doing excellent work in first grade. Her teacher is a perfect fit and Emily adores her. We have been so blessed with wonderful teachers and pray that this trend continues. I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned it in the blog, but Emily was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) when she was four years old. It took two years to get a diagnosis, so we were happy when we finally got one. Of course back then, we thought that JRA would be the worst thing that we would ever have to deal with. I only wish that were the case! Anyway, her doctor had released her from care back in April because she was doing so well...over two years without a flare. We were so excited that we were done with the swollen knee, stiffness, and limping. A few weeks back, I had noticed that Emily's knee was getting swollen again and that it seemed warm. Well, long story short, she is in the middle of another flare. UGH! But we are praying that meds will help it out and that she won't have the issue for much longer. Her birthday is at the end of the month and she will be SEVEN years old! She is having an all-girl party at the local pottery place. Emily is enjoying her dance class and is excited to take part in her dance studio's production of The Nutcracker in December. We can't wait to see her perform!!!!

Emily and Dannie

I love this kid!

She suggested this pose...America's Next Top Model?!?! Ha! Ha!

And then there is THIS ONE. Oh my goodness how he makes us smile. Matthew turned FIVE years old on October 3rd. I can't believe that he is 5. Matthew is in his last year of preschool and he absolutely loves it. He is like a completely different kid this year. His teachers tell me that he is an "angel" and that they never have to reprimand him. Tommy and I are so proud of our big boy. He is playing soccer and started karate. He has really taken to karate and is really good at remembering all of the moves. He still cracks us up with his "Matthewisms". He had a dream the other night about God. I really think that Matthew has had conversations with God in his dreams. Anyway, there is a little girl in his class who won't pray with the rest of the kids. This has really upset Matthew (although he doesn't seem too bothered when he doesn't say grace or prayers at home. hmmmm) and in his dream, he asked God if He gets upset when this little girl doesn't pray. God told him that yes, He gets upset and that He cries. From the mouths (or rather dreams) of babes!

Patiently waiting to blow out the candles on his little cake (the one we had in Dallas).


This is the AMAZING Bumblebee transformer cake that my friend Kelly made for Matthew's birthday party. It was not only adorable, but DELICIOUS!

Chuck E. with Matthew

And finally, the BABY! We love this picture of James. Tommy and I figured out that these puffs get pretty sticky. So just for fun, we stuck some on James' face for the picture. He does it all the time by himself, but this time we had the camera near. He is such a happy baby! Since I last posted, James has had another set of tests looking for tumor growth. Thankfully, the tests were negative and we won't have to test again until December. James has had some pretty big milestones: he is sitting up, eating some table foods, and he is crawling. He is definitely ahead of the other two as they didn't crawl until about 10 months or so. Tommy and I are amazed at how easy going James is. He will go to anyone! Of course, we are still dealing with waking up at night, but as I always say, we are just glad that he is here and that he is a part of our family.


That is all for now...I have A LOT of things that I want to share about Luke and CHDs. I feel as though Luke has been trying to help his mommy figure some things out lately and I appreciate it so much. I will save that for another post in the next few days. There are still a lot of babies who are fighting CHDs...please pray for them. Have a wonderful rest of your week and GOD BLESS you all!

Fun times...

I don't have much time to post as James is hungry, sitting on his Daddy's shoulder, but I wanted to post a few pics form the last few weeks (along with a video at the end)...

Happy birthday to our main man, Tommy! We celebrated with dinner out the night before and this YUMMY cake! Is James a clone of his father or what?!?!

Emily on her first day of FIRST GRADE! Seriously, where does the time go? We are so proud of Emily and her accomplishments. She is an amazing reader and she has the kindest heart (although Matthew may beg to differ).

Emily is in Mrs. Wright's class this year and she just loves her teacher. She has so many wonderful friends in this class and we are excited to watch her blossom this year!

This is a new video of our little man. James is 6 months old now and is a crazy little guy! He does not have stranger anxiety, but does have "I don't want to be put down" anxiety. He really likes to be held and entertained. We are still waiting on him to sleep through the night, but we are just thankful he is here with us! I took this video this evening as he was playing on a toy that Sabrina (cousin) gave him. He likes to stand up on things. He has fairly good balance, but Mommy holds on to his arm just in case. He is a strong little bugger!

Just a quick note on two heart friends: my dear friend, Rebecca (mom to HLHS angel Annabelle--her blog address is on the right), gave birth to a HEART HEALTHY, beautiful baby boy named LUKE last week. Rebecca and I have shared stories as well as tears many times and I am so happy that she, Scott, Wyatt, and Annabelle (up in heaven playing with our Luke) have their own "bringer of light" to enjoy! Also, I met a new heart mom friend, Charity, through DyMisha (Nia's mom). Charity gave birth to Asher on my father's birthday in July. Asher also has HLHS and has had a lot of ups and downs. Asher is currently in heart failure and the doctors are trying to figure out how to help him out. Please keep Charity, Wallace, and especially Asher in your thoughts and prayers. Asher is another gorgeous baby who is stronger than most people. He is an amazing little guy!

Thanks for checking up on us. I really appreciate the tips on the cradle cap--I have tried the baby oil in the bathtub trick and that seems to really help. It's just so hard when the baby is as bald as James! We always love to read your comments and appreciate them so much! God bless you all and have a wonderful week!

Missing him...

Just a quick note tonight...I just wanted to let Luke know how much I am missing him tonight. I miss him every day, but there are some days (such as today) when the loss seems so unbearable and I feel like I can't stop crying. Luke, I miss you more than you could ever know. Thank you for your strength (I wish I had an ounce of it), your beauty (again, an ounce), and your wisdom. Thank you for asking God to send us another child and thank you for being his guardian angel. I was talking to someone yesterday about how James had two true knots in his cord and how it was a miracle that he made it. She told me that James must have had a guardian angel looking out for him...that's when it hit me: Luke is James' guardian angel and he made sure to keep James safe in my womb until he was born. I don't know why I never thought of that before. That's how I know that James is going to be ok...Luke won't let anything happen to him, he will always be watching over him, asking God to protect him. As my mother says, Luke is sitting on our shoulders and is keeping us all safe. Thank you to our dear angel, what an amazing soul!

Thanks for letting me let out my emotions tonight...it has been a tough week as one of my dear friends here lost her mother suddenly this weekend. Kimberly set up the Sacrament of Healing when we first found out about James' omphalocele and she also set up meals for us after James was born. Kimberly has been a constant source of prayer and support for our family since we moved here and I am so saddened by her loss. Her mother Linda and father Bob (a deacon at our parish) raised an amazingly faithful woman and I commend them for that!

Our house has been pretty low key, waiting for school to start. Emily can't wait to start first grade and she is looking forward to finding out who her teacher is this week. Matt found out his teachers last week, but won't start school until the end of the month. They love each other a lot, but seem to be losing more and more patience with each other as the summer winds down. James is trucking along and he will be 6 months old next week. He is a little chunk and no one can believe he is only 6 months old. Oh, if anyone has any idea on how to get rid of cradle cap (or the dried skin left behind), please let me know--this kid has the worst case of it ever!!!! I took the three of them to get some pictures taken today and will post them when I have time to scan them into the computer.

Thanks, once again, for listening to my ramblings...you guys are awesome! God bless!

More pics...

My sister took some fun pictures before we left her house...I wanted to share them with you...

PS check out the post below for some pics from our vacation...

Simply Pictures...

Not much to say, but wanted to share some pics of our "Tour de Southern US" from the past month. We went to Houston and then traveled to Macon, Ellijay, and Alpharetta, Georgia. For an update on James, visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/jameshaberman. God bless! First sink bath at Gramma and Grampa's house

Eating rice cereal for the first time. Look at that open mouth!

Soooooo good!

Matthew and Ryan (Jill's little boy). It was as if they were never apart!

Me with Traci, Jill, and Bobbie (old friends form home). Jill set up a night out at Rico's (my fave) with all of our Houston/The Woodlands friends. It was SOOOOO great to see everyone!

Tommy with old friends Erick and Bobby

I love, love, love this picture! James and Tommy looking at Tommy's Dad's marker. We visited the cemetery on Father's Day and had a breakfast picnic. It was very nice and the cemetery people even put a tent up for us so we wouldn't get too hot.

Happy boy

Gramma and Grampa

The whole family together for the first time!

At Gramma and Grampa's house with cousin Dannie in their cousin outfits!

The kids in front of Luke's Prayer garden at St. Anthony

Great Gramma with the kiddos

James with my Gramma. Mother of NINE kids and grandmother to 26. What an amazing woman she is!

I love this pic of my dad holding James in the cabin. James fell asleep just like this!

Our dancing girl at her recital

Emily and Mommy

Mommy and Matthew

My sister makes AMAZING shirts each year for the parade in Ellijay. We keep hoping the kids' picture will end up in the local newspaper!

Emily and my cousin, Julia.

Matt and Grampa

Love this pic!

Going through the parade candy.

This is Matthew every year at the fireworks: sitting on a lap with his hands over his ears.

At the stream at the bottom of the mountain with cousins.

Emily is our fishing queen...she always catches a fish when she visits the cabin.

Priceless face!

"Peas are yummy!"

He takes his peas so well from his big sissy!

Matthew feeding James some peas...I love James' face in this (oh and Matthew is in his jammies--pants/no shirt, btw).